Unaverage Joe

bee gone

So you saw my post below about the bees. You had a good laugh at my expense at imminent death from the sting of 10,000 bees. (That sounds too Arabic: “I curse you by the sting of 10,000 bees, Achmed!”) That’s okay, because I can laugh now. I told my boss the story. After she finished laughing at me, she suggested that I call the county or a beekeeper. Not a bad idea. So I got home around 7PM and started perusing the Web for beekeepers around here. I left messages for a lot of people, and spoke to a few. Talking to these people reminded me that I’m in the south, y'all. They speeeaak veeerryyy sloooowww sometimes. They start telling me what kind of bee they think it is, asking me the color of the nest, how many are there (you know, because I was counting them???), if I’m sure they’re bees, etc. Only to tell me after I answered all the questions that they are unavailable. Until I stumbled onto the MSBA BUMBA‘s website (Maryland State Beekeepers' Association Bowie-Upper Marlboro Beekeepers Association)! I called the president of the club, Scott, and we spoke for a little while. He told me that the nectar flow this year has attracted many swarms, that there are more bees than normal, they’re still flying later than usual, had many reports recently of hives growing, etc. He says he may be able to stop by tonight or the next day. About 30 minutes later, I heard the doorbell, and there he was! I showed him the (blech!) pile of bees. They actually started and almost finished building a roof over the nest, since I took off their old roof (the hollowed-out cat). He looks at it, pauses for a moment, and then tells me that in all his years of doing this, this is only the second time he has seen this. What? What is it??? He tells me it’s not a honeybee nest but a bumblebee nest, which is a rare find. He asks if he can have it. By all means, amigo! Heck, I even took pictures before you arrived, and I can email them to ya!!

Sorry for the blurry picture, but as you can imagine, I didn't want to stay there too long as I took a closeup shot.

The hollowed-out cat with the bumblebee's nest nearby. Been in the same position for 2 days since I discovered it - and then freaked out.

Another shot with the cement slab where my foot was standing on directly next to the bees when I picked up the cat.


So he devises a plan and asks us if we have anything to put the nest in. I figured he would have brought a smoker, one of those uniforms that look like an astronaut’s suit but made out of net, and wooden box. He had none of that. All he needed was some Saran Wrap, a shovel, which he borrowed from my neighbor, sugar water in a sprayer, and a shoe box. He placed a piece of Saran Wrap on top of the nest, and they started buzzing like crazy (getting goosebumps as I type this). The noise is freaky enough to put in a horror movie!



There were a few bumblebees that started flying around, and he merely sprayed a little sugar water on them, and they flew back down on the ground. Then he PICKED THEM UP WITH HIS BARE FINGERS! I was creeped out, and standing back about 20 feet. This was my most un-manly hour. I asked if he’s worried about getting stung. He says these bees are very harmless, and you practically need to step on one to get stung. DAMN! I look at him, and just as he was finishing his peace-love-and-happiness spiel about bumblebees, one stung him on his neck. He simply rubbed it off and kept spraying down the errant bees. He took the shovel, and scooped them up, quickly placing them in the shoebox we had. He closed it up, taped it tightly, and that was the end of my bee situation. It was over too quick. I wanted a fight. I was looking for a long, drawn-out battle between man vs. bee. Perhaps the queen bee getting cut in half by the shovel and the soldier bees avenging her death as she spat out her last bit of pollen. But just like that? I could have done that!

Naaaaah.







Now that he has the bees, he said he would knock out a corner of a flower pot, turn it upside down, and let the bees nest in there back at his home. I found my balls and picked up the box. I felt nothing. I put it to my ear, and that whirring/buzzing/hissing sound they make when they’re agitated gave me the hee BEE jeebies (pun intended).

Ciao, bumblebees! Beekeeper’s happy; I’m happy – it’s all good in da hood.

And later that night, I was able to make my fried chicken. That’s what started this whole thing. Man they were good. Sorry, no picture. They were gone too quickly.

posted by Unaverage Joe @ 1:41 AM